Tit for Tat

/*This post was lying in my draft as I was unable to come up with an apt title. So kindly 'adjust maadi' */

Gone are the days when we could easily fool around with Mannu Tammu. They would blindly trust us and we could conveniently fake. But they are getting smarter and we have to rack our brains to trick them!!!

Here are a few instances and you will get the drift:

We had gone to a restaurant and while we waited for our bill to arrive Tammu pops her tongue out in a disgusting manner (That’s a code that MIL had taught them in the initial stages of potty training) I did not panic as she was wearing a diaper anyway. Abbas made the payment and by that time Tammy’s downloading act was accomplished. I did not have wipes in my bag that day, so we decided we would go home, dispose off the diaper and clean her up. The pint sized refused to move and kept on saying ‘Chuchu’ (That’s also a code word for bum cleaning after potty) I wickedly told her there is no bathroom here. So let’s go home and do ‘Chuchu’. She shows me the water bottle on table and says “Why don’t you use that?”

Our TV decided to commit suicide and fell off face down while Abbas was trying to slightly move the stand. After a sleepless night, we went out to an Electronics store to buy a new TV the next day. Mantam were super excited being in this store. I dunno what got into them and they started crawling on the floor. MIL told them “Don’t crawl. Your palms and knees are all getting dirty”. Mannu said “No Didi. Dirt is in Big Bazaar not here.” Huh??

Whenever we travel together I sit in the middle with one kid on each side. Now either of the kid will spot something silly on the street and shriek out of joy! Eg., “Maine India Flag dekha... Yayay” Now the other one will begin crying “Mujhe bhi India Flag dekhna hai.....” and shed litres of tears. It gets really difficult to handle and we have to beg God to somehow make an Indian Flag appear on our path to shut the weeping lad’s mouth. Since this has been happening consistently Abbas was telling me that we have talk to them about this and get rid of this silly competitive behaviour between them. So one evening Tammu said “Maine Cow Dekha... yayay”. As expected Mannu wants to see a cow then and there. I politely made her understand ki “Look, both of you are looking in different directions. You both might see different things. It is not necessary that you see what Tammu sees. Just let it be.” I assumed that she understood what I wanted to put forth. She said “Ok Mamma, I’ll see the cow tomorrow” and stopped nagging. I went on “Tammu ne cow dekha bolke tu bhi agar cow dekhne bolegi to main kaise cow leke aau?” And she answers “Pull karke lao, phir push kar dena!!!”

Remember I was talking about having taken them to a juice parlour? I ordered juice and made both of them sit on the counter so that I could easily hold the glass with two straws and they could sip. While we awaited the arrival of juice, Tammu removed her hair clip and started playing around with it. I told her “Tammu, don’t play with it. The clip will fall down at the other end and we will lose it.” She didn’t listen to me but continued to play with it and told me “Gir jayega to ye uncle ko bol denge na? Uncle uthake de denge!!!”

It was past their bed time and I was hurrying to put them to sleep. I saw some colouring books and crayons lying on the floor. I said in an irritated voice “Uthao uthao, ye sab jaldi upar uthao”. My words fell on their dumb ears. I have an irking habit of keep on repeating something that I want someone to listen till I get a response. And so I go on chanting “Upar utaho upar uthao”. Mannu (evidently annoyed) said pointing her finger towards the ceiling fan, “Mamma, kahaan upar? Fan ke upar uthao??” I too barked - “Haan fan ke upar utha sakti hai to uthake dikha”. She giggled and said “Arrre Mamma, main Big hoon kya? Main to small hoon na?”